Wednesday, May 30, 2012

You be the judge

I read an interesting article last weekend.  This article was centred on the idea of “why we love to talk about ourselves”.  According to US studies the act of disclosing information about ourselves gives the same kind of buzz as eating and sex.
Brain scans were conducted and found that talking about our own beliefs activates brain regions associated with reward and pleasure. 
To be honest, I myself am usually quite reluctant in exposing all my personal details or talking in depth to others.  I am not a continual status updater and often tend to listen to others days, details and feelings rather than disclose my own. So this blog may just be my guilty pleasure.  However in reaching out, writing and talking freely I myself have never felt better.
The scans also found that talking about ourselves is more pleasurable than judging others. 
In a world full of judgement, I know that you may feel there are others judging you and they probably are.  However our biggest critic is ourselves.  By talking a little about ourselves, about what we like, what we enjoy, even how our day was may go a long way. 
The more we judge others, the more we fear judgement from others.  If we gossip about others, others are probably gossiping about us. 
So if talking about ourselves is more pleasurable than judging ourselves and others – remember to share your day, talk about the things that you love, like and make you smile.  Post a pic or take a pic  - share it with others, whether it’s with a few friends or just your closest or best friend.
After all if the buzz is the same as eating and sex; Reward yourself!
Have your cake and eat it too!!.

(Article found in The Sunday Mail, Aust)

Monday, May 28, 2012

My Best Friend Gayle

So, I’m not going to get all Oprah on ya’ll  (cue really bad American accent) but it only seems fitting after the last inspiration image.  So just for the fun of it …
My best friend Gaaaaayle, as mentioned in my earlier posts was a great supporter of the idea of a Chummies community.  But to my surprise she also responded that her husband was down with the idea as well … they stated that we may even have some boy followers “bummies” as her husband called them or in Gayle’s words “dummies” hehe
I completely lovvvvve iittttt.  As also my biggest chatter about this topic is my husband.  You see the thoughts and conflictions are just not going on in my own head, we both openly chat and have a chuckle about the shop assistant insinuating that we have left our kids behind while we are out doing the shopping!.  “Yip we dumped them at the grandparents” or “Yip we left them home inside with some food, they’re not quite on solids … they shouldn’t choke” (Cue Kath and Kim Australian twang).  So to have openness in all our relationships is a great tribute to our solidarity. 
.. I also mentioned to my friend Gayyylllee that it may also be that he likes that I have written publically that we have “pure selfish sex”.
So I was intending the name Chummies to be related to all CF or CL couples or singles male or female (I guess my definition that only concludes childless mummies doesn’t really exude this however) but “Bummies” if you like, maybe not “dummies” G as I was aiming not to slag the men publically. (ok …maybe the odd joke or two - sorry boys) but whatever the name all are welcome.
Love the support!!!

Saturday, May 26, 2012



Faux Chummy

So my first fears when starting this were –
What if we do start having children, what If I do become pregnant?  What would be the point in establishing this blog as then I would become a Faux Chummy!!.
My reaction to this thought was – well this is what the site is about - building relationships and supporting each other.  I would hope that we do just that; support other women if they are having a baby just as we will support others that are trying to conceive, that can’t conceive or choose not to conceive.
I’m sure that potentially I, and others will eventually need the support of the multitude of mothers to be and mothers websites.  But my hopes are that we still also seek the advice of our fellow chummies and friendships that we form.  
As much as learning from those with experience is essential and extremely helpful the opinions of everyone with or without children are truly valuable.  Conversation should always be encouraged and parents aren’t the only ones entitled to have thoughts on parenting. 

Chummy, Faux Chummy or Mummy we are all part of the same team!! 


Note:  Just because I have verbally regurgitated parts of my personal life most definitely doesn’t mean that followers have to feel that they should have to.  Your personal life is your own business unless you feel the need to share.  Comments of encouragement, motivation, stories of your day or just a simple “I hear ya” will go a long way in making this chummy feel that I have made at least a tiny bit of difference in your day in return making mine.

Take a bathe, have a wine, take a walk, enjoy “your” time

Have a fabulous weekend x

Friday, May 25, 2012

Testie with my Bestie

Hold my breath ….. well its out there.  I have made the first connection with friends on facebook, and put the blog out there for the world to see.
I was however concidering totally pulling the plug.  Wondering; am I insane?, am I  over analysing everything in life, its probably just me!.
But instead I emailed my best friend sending her just this:
“If you don't mind I need an opinion on something I have been working on its a blogsite for the in betweeners 
Am I nuts? Is this even relevant to others or do you think it is beneficial to share?.  There is also a facebook link  in which I haven't shared as yet.

Let me know your thoughts.”

So here’s me thinking, jeez just get on with your work, do your day job, stop mucking around with all this business.  She’s probably going to write back with - “yip pretty sure you have gone nuts!!, you must have too much time on your hands, do you want to chat or skype or something?”.  But Nooooo this was her response:
You are amazing :-) and the crazy thing, almost a coincidence, is that I felt the need to email you this morning and have a heart to heart!! So when I arrive home this afternoon to finally begin my email you have sent me your chummy idea!! bizarre....

I feel the when to have a baby decision is doing my head in. Do I want to have a baby or do I want to finish my study? Can I handle having a baby and still finish my study? Would we be disappointed if we waited to have a baby then we find out that it is difficult and that it will take another year or so to conceive? So this is very much the dilemma of a chummy!!

I love it and by what I am feeling at the moment you will be putting out an amazing support network - you have already reached me.

Awesome xoxo

Well if that isn’t an incentive to put this out there, what is?.  You see we live in different countries, lead different lives and aren’t in your pocket type of friends, yet our friendship is great.  We chat, skype once in a while but haven’t approached this topic with this detail and concern at all.  And here the one person I approach, my best friend is going through the same thing.  Her mind is driving her insane with similar thoughts.  How many more of us are out there???

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

accentuate the positive

So there are many things that are chattering away in my head that I wish to discuss.  However I will start with the hopes and aims I have for this blog.
There seems to be a lot of scrutiny towards childfree couples and negative connotations of being selfish whatever the couple’s circumstances.
This site aims to stand, as a platform in all that is positive within all chummies lives.  What we do, our aims, our goals, our travels, our triumphs; anything that makes our days great and fulfilled.
There are many sites addressing support for Mothers and Mums to be; yet no communities or talking platforms for the in betweeners .. the chummies
I by no means begrudge Mothers of any help what so ever as I know that they endure many trials and tribulations and they deserve their support systems.  Plus the very thought of childbirth makes me giddy, so I view mothers as very strong beings.
But with so many images, sites and posts these days circulating around great family life, first steps, first poops and the wonder of parenthood it makes it pretty easy to feel a bit inferior.
We need to remember the things that make us happy the things that inspire us.


Welcome to chummies first official post

What is a chummy you ask?
A chummy by my own definition is a “Childfree Mummy”

Childfree/Childless - any couple that believes children as something that they’ve always wanted however not at this point in time, couples that are trying for a child, couples that do not have the option to have children or couples that do not desire to have children. Or any woman without children.
Mummy - a mother, which by definition includes a mother as a creative source, which watches over, nourishes and protects maternally.  Therefore a feminine being that is a nurturer.
And finally
Chummy -  the relationship of friends or pals; associated on close terms.  Or Chum referring to a slang term for friend or if searching online; a social network, platform to find virtual friends.

As an overview chummies is a blogsite that exists to inspire, motivate and support fellow chummies encouraging each other in their endeavours, careers and general being.

Mission is to inspire, motive and support chummies to celebrate the good things in life. To enjoy their spare time rather than worry about what could be, should have been, or is!.  My wish is for us all to relish in the now!!!